So many social obligations, tearing me into a billion different pieces...

I've achieved a lot in my time here in Brisbane, and I don't think that the things I learn here will go to waste. But my eyes have really been open to so many things.

I miss home..

I miss my friends...

I miss being myself. I can never be who I am around the people I know, because I know they will never understand.

sigh...

Singapore... when I return, will you still have a future for me?

Working with a committee that has totally no enthusiasm, no interest, and no passion is like tiling a field full of rocks with your bare hands.

How can you profit from God's work? or should I say how could you dare to profit from God's work?

my heart is so, so heavy.... I feel like just stepping down...

How can you look at me with conviction and say that you are doing God's work when you keep glorifying yourself by boasting of the works that you do for God?

It is not for my eyes, or for the committee. Let God decide.

I have so much things I doubt about your version of Christianity. True, you may be so much more experienced... but how can you condemn all other churches but your own belief without so much as blinking?

How can you do such a thing??

Are you not God's servant?

I have so much things I would like to say to you. But I will do it before I leave Brisbane.

You make me so, so, so so sad...

The weekend is finally over!

I'm so stressed that when I finished typing my final word on the registry I cried.

I have so much work to do... finally I can start on my tutorials...

and it is 11:00pm already.

Haiz.

Closure..

In life, doors open and doors close. But how many you wish to leave open is up to you, and how many you wish to walk through is up to you as well.

2011 has been a year of change for me.

Major change.

I've learnt things that I could never have learnt myself in Singapore, and skills that outshine any teachable.

- Independence, and Reliance.

Neither is greater then the other, but through hardship, while learning to stand on my own two feet alone, I realized that nobody could be entirely self-dependent.

We may believe that we are wise enough, intelligent enough or strong enough to withstand the weight of this world. But without God, the world eventually will win through.

Well... it's 2012 now, and it's time for my previous year's resolution review!

Let's see...

2011 Resolutions
i. Ensure that my transition to Brisbane is flawless.

It was more then flawless. It was perfect. Even the rough edges became sparkling diamonds when you see God's hands at work.

ii. Be financially independent by June 2011, on proper, decent part-time jobs.

Haha... Thank God, I am having a very decent part-time job now, but I missed the financially independent part... lol... Living costs is just simply too high.

iii. Hit 70kg in ultra-lean, muscle mass.

Aww... no. I didn't manage to get that. I'm still stuck at 65kg. But I reckon my body has improved substantially!

iv. Read the entire bible once through (again).

ALMOST!!! I'm almost there.... err.. ok. Either way, I didn't fulfill this resolution. =(

v. Make at least 3 very good friends in Brisbane.

Yeap! Haha.. Simon, Charlie, Jason,.... I have hundreds of friends in Brisbane... lol

vi. Hit at least 90 percentile in my degree

Haha.. I'm 95th Percentile. =) Thank God!

vii. Perform 30 Pull-ups, Chin-ups, Wide-grip, Narrow-grip without rest by June 2011 and 40 by December.

Eeep... I can barely do that, but currently could if I set my mind on it. *cough* definitely. =D

viii. Explore 5 other major sites of interest outside Brisbane, in Australia.

Lets see.... Sydney, Melbourne, Tasmania, Byron Bay, Sunshine Coast, Gold Coast... Haha.. I definitely did quite a bit of travelling last year. And took a massive number of photos to boot. =)

ix. Learn 1 more new sport that I'll enjoy.
I'm learning Autralian Rules Football, Rugby and Cricket! But I think OzRules is still the most fun.

x. Cut down my fat percentage to below 10%

Nope. Didn't manage to do it. As of after the Christmas period, my BF% is 13.30. Terrible, terrible stat.

Responsibilities and Thoughts.

Another fast paced few weeks passes by.

I think busy is an understatement with my life.

God is good. Especially when you give everything, He knows.

I've received 2x HD in my major assignments, almost guaranteeing me a Distinction at least in my final results for 2 modules.

I don't think I really deserved it, and I don't really know how I managed to pull it off. All I can say is that it coincided with the ultra hectic Unicell Evax Night.

I've been nominated to spearhead the Sponsorship and Marketing for Singapore Student Association, and I've also been asked to consider leading and coordinating Unicell.

Funny.

Despite my penchant for running away from leadership, it usually wriggles itself back somehow into my syllabus.

I've accepted to do the Sponsorship and Marketing for the SSA, but I've yet to give my green light for leading and coordinating Unicell.

The problems in my own life are of such a great magnitude it makes me wonder if I am actually fit to run Christ's ministry.

I miss home.

I was just reading Simon's comics on Unconditional Love again, and found myself tearing a bit.

I miss the days of familiarity, of true, good friends whom I can share everything and anything with without fear.
I miss Haryanto and Simon, but my closet nature witholds me from talking with them. Perhaps my apathy at whatever may be going on.

I miss my Mum and Dad, I wonder if they're doing ok, and if my Dad is exercising...

I miss my brothers, seeing them on WoW only makes them feel somewhat closer, but further at the same time..

I miss... well, I'm not going to say anymore.

All I can say is, "You're always amazing, you'll always be amazing. Just the way you are."

A breath of air. In between assessments.

Life is so crazy...

I think one of the reasons why I'm not really blogging nowadays is because there comes a critical point in your "brain-blog-storage" when it overloads, and you weirdly lose interest in writing because there is simply such a massive amount of information that you probably would want to write and this is a very long sentence.

Well, it's time to update. Despite not updating for the past God-knows how many days, my blog is not dead, even if I've lost a bit of my passion for blogging.

One of my modules (or units) is called "Consumer Culture and Identity", where we do study a bit of 'Fashion' modules.

As painful as it sounds for me, after all, I doubt many people would consider me fashionable or even knowledgeable in Fashion, I realize that it is quite interesting after all.

Well. A few days ago, I was having a discussion with a good friend, and the topic of "what would I never do" came up.

Being quite militaristic in my own lifestyle, I obviously had a set of 'rules' that I would never do. But after thinking and discussing about it for awhile, a set of stark conclusions came to mind.

I think I'm narcissistic.

Haha. I've always jokingly said that if I had an exact twin I would fall in love him. But there is a weird sense of deja-vu when someone else says that to you.

Bah.

I'm alive and kicking. Anyway.

My gym routine is getting more and more harsh, and I'm pushing myself much, much further then I ever had in my entire life.

It is paying, bit by bit, but there's still quite a bit more before I'm satisfied.

.. or will I ever be.

shucks.

I'm rambling.

Oh. The reason why I can blog is actually because I've finished 3 major assignments and handed it up a few days ago.

So... it's breather time for me now.. at least for a few days.

lol. It's amazing that people actually still come to this blog.

From a few hundred views a day, to about twenty people visiting regularly still. Interesting.

*waves*

I'll blog more often!

=D